07Jan2009

गांव का रामू शहर से अपने लिए महंगी ब्रांडेड चड्ढी खरीद कर लाया। गांव पहुंच कर रामू ने सारे लोगों को धोती उठाकर अपनी नई चड्ढी दिखाई। घर पहुंचकर जब रामू ने अपनी अलमारी खोली तो वह बेहोश हो गया।

क्यों ?

क्योंकि रामू की नई चड्ढी तो अलमारी में ही रखी थी।

06Jan2009

एक रॉकिट साइंटिस्ट बता रहा था कि विज्ञान इस बीच कितना आगे बढ़ चुका है। उसने कहा, ' अब देखिए, इसी साल हमने अंतरिक्ष में कई चूहे भेजे। '

एक बूढ़ी औरत बोली, ' क्या तुम्हें नहीं लगता कि चूहों से छुटकारा पाने का यह तरीका बेहद मंहगा है ?'

05Jan2009

A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour`s wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!" He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success. Then he realised he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again.
After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn`t started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the window, a voice called out "Hey, Balbir!" Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck.

He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke. Finally he had his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin. As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once more. Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name isn`t Balbir!"

02Jan2009

Here comes 2009
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Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
"Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks Santa why.
"Well" Santa says, "I have a friend in Canada and a friend in Sydney. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can`t be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 20 years since we were 18."
The next year Santa comes in and asks the bartender for two beers. The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of Santa and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!"
The bartender asks "So which one died?"
"No one."
"But you only ordered two drinks!"
"Yeah, well, I`ve given up drinking."

31Dec2008

So finally 2008 finished....
and here is the last joke for the year.....

A new teacher had a very dirty pupil in her class. At first she didn't know what to do, but finally she sent him home with a note to his mother, saying he was not clean and he should bathe more often.

The next morning the boy came back to school, and pinned to his shirt was the following note: Don't smell him - teach him!
======================================
So resolution

1. Take bath.
2. Dont take bath let the others bear.

So whats your one........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30Dec2008

In a small town in India, there is a small store. And in the store is a magic Mirror of Truth.
If you go up to it and tell the truth, you get a shiny piece of gold. But if you lie, you disappear.
A very ugly brunette came in, stood in front of the Mirror of Truth and said, "I think I am the prettiest woman in all of World!"
And poof, she disappeared. Next came a very ugly redhead.
She stood before the Mirror of Truth and said, "I think I am the prettiest woman in all of Universe." Poof! She disappeared!
Then a Sardar came into the store. He stood before the Mirror of Truth and said, "I think..." Poof! He disappeared.

29Dec2008

एक कंजूस व्यक्ति ने काफ़ी ज़्यादा मात्रा मे नीद की गोलियां खा लीं और बेहोश हो गया ! अस्पताल में डॉक्टर ने पूछा कि आपने ख़ुदकुशी करने की कोशिश क्यों की ?

वो बोला , नहीं डॉक्टर साहब मैंने ख़ुदकुशी की कोशिश नहीं की। मैंने इतनी गोलियां इसलिए खाई क्योंकि ये सारी गोलियां कल एक्सपाइर हो जानी थीं ! अगर मैं इन को आज नही खाता तो फ़िर ये किसी काम की नही रहती